Heather: So I started off going to an animal right’s protest at KFC.
Zoe: mmm-hmm
Heather: So it went well – it was a very peaceful demonstration. Based on how great that went, I decided to go to the fois gras protest that a friend was telling me about. Do you KNOW what fois gras is?
Zoe: Sure, french cuisine. It’s fatty but quite delicious. mmm…meat butter.
Heather: Delicious?! A metal pipe is shoved down a duck’s throat and a mechanized pump shoots a mixture of corn/oil directly into their gullets! Their livers expand up to 10 times their normal size!! IT IS THIS GROSS, DISEASED FATTY LIVER THAT IS SOLD AS THE GOURMET FOOD ITEM KNOWN AS FOIS GRAS.
Zoe: I don’t think people are considering the duck’s feelings when they dine. Besides, how do you know the ducks aren’t enjoying being force fed?
Heather: grrrrrrr…
Zoe: Sorry…continue. But you know, part of it is cultural. People eat many interesting things. You would not be very happy if I told you what balut is. And Koreans – well, some of my friends eat things that would surely get your panties in a twist.
Heather: But I was talking to the restaurant owner – trying to make him understand that it’s animal cruelty. All he could tell me was his restaurant was losing money. That he had a family to support. And he angrily asked us to leave.
Zoe: Then what?
Heather: The bunch I was with was un-necessarily rowdy. One guy called the manager an asshole. The animal protestors had signs and one even made a grisly float of a dead duck carcass….it wasn’t as peaceful a I was led to believe. The owner called the police.
Zoe: It’s hard to take people seriously when they’re hollering beneath a dead duck balloon.
Heather: Meat-eater.
Zoe: Correction: hard-core carnivore.
Heather: grrrr…
Zoe: Relax. I’ll start a ‘bail Heather out of jail’ fund. Just please 1) keep your full-time job, 2) continue bathing regularly and 3) be informed of what you decide to protest. And for God’s sake – be prepared to hear the other side. Because there is one. Nothing’s more aggravating than a militant, half-cocked, un-informed, un-hygienic protestor. Angry people with no idea why they’re angry piss me off. I protest protestors!
Tags: protestors, Vegans
